HOMESCHOOLING BEGINS WITH HOME
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| But how do you begin to walk in vision? a fundamental step of stewarding your children’s lives toward the vision of liberty: exercise Godly authority— | leading your children to some role but rather leading them to Someone.* |
*In other words, what your children choose to do in life will pale in comparison to who they are in Christ.
(It may be great!) | ||
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As you begin homeschooling your children—whether they are preschoolers or perhaps teens whom you are pulling out of a school setting—keep in mind that vision is about who your children are becoming and—one of the most overlooked advantages of homeschooling—who you are becoming as you steward your children’s lives and your own.
One to whose care something is committed. One who has the care and tutelage of children, a tutor. |
God has entrusted to our care is relationships,
especially stewarding the relationships
of the children He’s given us.
You have already begun exercising Godly authority over your children because of your decision to homeschool them.
“Homeschooling begins with home.”
As you develop the tool of home, you will discover many opportunities to grow in exercising Godly authority while building strong relationships with your children.
Christ set the example of exercising His authority over our lives through His love coupled with His Word—both Living and written—so we can let His love- and authority-in-us pour out to our children.
L O V E Foundational Building Block | Exercising power without demonstrating the genuineness of unconditional love toward your child is simply abuse of power—carnal control or manipulation—not exercising Godly authority. Authoritarian parents exercise power of their children’s lives, requiring them to conform to certain outward standards to look good and make the parents look good. These destructive images tear down the parent-child relationship. |
Although rules that address behavior are necessary at young ages, parents who never move beyond this stage toward reaching their children’s hearts create issues that need not exist.
But as parents begin to abide and are released to the love of God in their own lives, they will then be able to exercise Godly authority over their children’s lives because the love of God will be their overarching principle and foundational building block as they relate to the whole persons of their children.
but power does not always include authority. Examples:
who you are is reflected in what you choose to do. | dunamis (1411) Strengthened, Authority Permission. Power that comes as a result of having permission to do something. |
When you are filled with His life and love to overflowing through abiding in Him, He empowers you with Godly authority and your actions will reflect His love as you minister to your children’s true needs with authority. If you are not abiding in Him but abiding in images, carnal control will mark your actions toward your children and really toward everyone.
Just as Christ Himself demonstrated His love for us through laying down His life, He will empower us with that same authority—to lay down our lives for our children because we love them with His love.
Our focus will not be on how we perform or how our children perform but rather on Who Christ is in our lives and what He has done, is doing, and will do to further His kingdom through us.
As you abide, Mom, you will find that God meets your true needs—not necessarily your wants or your lusts, but your true needs. As you find contentment in Him, trust builds in your relationship with Him. You won’t need to manipulate Him through bargaining. Similarly, children who know they will be provided for don’t need to manipulate to get what they need, and parents who provide for their children’s true needs (not wants) ultimately build trust in the relationship. If we do not provide for our children’s needs, we are setting up opportunities for manipulation—either by the child and/or the parent—rather than character growth. Her parents used all sorts of manipulation, including yelling at her and physically yanking her legs out from under her, to make her sit down. Had they simply provided her with a booster seat, raising her to the level she needed to be, their manipulation and carnal control would not have been necessary. Through their parenting practices, they were tearing down rather than building up trust in the relationship with their young daughter. Example. During family reading times, my youngest child would sometimes become fidgety while I read more advanced books outloud to my other children. Although he enjoyed being with us, he began to complain about family reading times. I prayed for wisdom. We have accumulated many project books over the years, so I began to look through them and make a list of the kinds of things he could do quietly while we read. Once a week, he and I look through my list, and he decides which projects interest him. We put each project and all the materials he may need to complete the project (glue sticks, scissors, brads, string) in a zip-loc baggie. He brings them to the reading area for the next week. He now looks forward to the reading time because of the provision of something for his level—something he chose himself. Trust is being built in our relationship as well. He knows that I listen to him; he doesn’t have to complain. And he knows that not only do I listen, but I hear his needs and meet them. That is what God, my Father, has done for me: hear my needs and meet them. I can now do likewise for my child. Through homeschooling, you can choose to eliminate the pressure cooker of peer pressure—which causes children to conform to a system in order to survive—and embrace instead the efficient, sufficient crockpot of the intense environment of home that teaches you, the abiding mom, how to exercise Godly authority rather than carnal control as you build solid relationships of love and trust with your children. One of the advantages of homeschooling is that you can monitor your child’s heart at home. Because you know your child so well, you will be attuned to the day when you can release her as an established child of God, knowing full well that she has chosen to submit to God as her Authority.
To Exercising Godly Authority
I Timothy 5:8Example. One day while our family was at a restaurant, the hostess seated a young couple with a toddler and an infant near us. The two-year-old sat down in the booth—her eyes at table height. Throughout the meal, she kept standing up. 
validation, affirmation, love, respect—
and provide for them in practical ways.
You cannot provide for your children if they are not with you. Each time you turn them over to someone else, you are turning over your authority and placing your children under another’s authority. Sometimes that authority becomes your child’s peers, which leads to unhealthy peer pressure—children raising children.
Proverbs 4:23, Matthew 18:6
As with all people, children have sin natures. When you keep your children near you at home, you will see those sin natures so clearly (I can see you nodding your head). You will also see your sin nature as you deal with them (oops! Did I hit a tender spot? Are you gulping?)
Addressing those sin natures and leading your children to the cross (because you have gone before them) will provide you with many opportunities to minister to them, as the Lord ministers to you.
You don’t need to bring more outside influences into their lives or yours because, if you do, you will create all sorts of unnecessary issues that will take up your time—issues that keep you from addressing the real underlying sin in their lives and yours.
Guard your children’s hearts from peer pressure and from cultural images in both the world and the church. Pray for the wisdom to see the consequences—either blessing or cursing—of the choices you make for your children’s lives and your own.
As you observe the world and the church, you can see clearly the consequences of failure to guard hearts (II Timothy 3:2-10): lovers of self, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, holding to a form of godliness but denying its power—their folly will be obvious to all.
Example. When growing up, I enjoyed playing with Barbie dolls; but for a number of reasons, I resolved not to allow my girls to play with those. Mainly, I believe that playing with those types of dolls encourages young girls to lust for clothes and material things, a certain body image, and boys like Ken. One year my grandmother bought my four-year-old daughter a Barbie doll. I exercised authority over my daughter’s life by not bringing the doll home and speaking to my grandmother about my reasons for not allowing those types of dolls in my daughter’s life. Although my grandmother thought I was silly, she respected my choice and never bought my daughter another Barbie-type doll again. I simply did not allow that type of influence into her life from the time she was young, protecting her soul (intellect, will, and emotions) from heading down a destructive path (Galatians 6:7). |
Learn to examine prayerfully before the Lord the long-term consequences (or fruit) of what you allow in to your children’s lives.
For example, I have heard parents say things like, “My child enjoys the kindergarten or first-grade school experience, so we are going to let her remain in school because she wants to” or “My child must attend this particular school; there is simply no other option.”
This short-sighted vision of allowing peer influences into the child’s heart as well as relinquishing parental authority of one so young invites destructive influences into his heart that will need to be dealt with at some point along the way. How can a parent monitor a child’s heart—either what is being put into the heart or what is coming out of the heart—when the child is not with the parent most of the day?
through stewarding their lives,
you are exercising the Master’s authority
until the Master becomes
Master and Lord of your children’s lives.
Looking ahead to who your children are becoming through what you allow into their lives is walking in vision at this stage of their growth and yours.
For a metaphor about this concept, click here.
Proverbs 4:23, Matthew 18:6
This entire site is rooted in the overarching Biblical principle of the Christian life: Love!
The Foundational Articles, the Parenting and Marriage sections as well as the Spiritual Growth Articles point you to Christ, Who will release you to His love for you so you then can be released to love others, especially your precious children.
As you abide in Him and live the genuine Christian life before your children, you will promote Godliness because God’s Spirit will pour forth through you, His vessel, to them.
Provide ~ Protect ~ Promote Provide for Needs ~ Protect Hearts ~ Promote Godliness |
You will find many suggestions, ideas, and teachings about homeschooling your children.
Develop the discernment, as you abide, to recognize a sound teaching that, when applied, will produce the Godly fruit of walking in liberty with Christ.
Then exercise God’s power within you—not the carnal control of man—as you steward your precious children’s lives with His authority and love.
and Your Body, the Church.
May she press on in the fear of the Lord
and in the comfort of the Holy Spirit
as she abides and is empowered by Your Life and Love
to exercise Godly authority—not carnal control—in her children’s lives
just as You do in hers.
but on the power of God.
~I Corinthians 2:5
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