Spiritual Growth Articles for
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I. Strong-willed children
- either promote your created image
- or rebel against your created image.
EXAMPLE ONE: PROMOTING THE IMAGE Your teen-aged daughter may exchange her gender identification as a tomboy for a gender identification as a “godly woman,” as defined by another strong-willed individual rather than born from her relationship with God. Like feminists, this young woman finds her identity in her gender and idealism, not in the Lord. She releases the feminist image and replaces it with a femininity image. She can then advocate her exchanged image to other young women, which brings her glory; it also brings glory to your image. “Look at how she’s changed from a tomboy to an ideal young woman, according to my image, all because she does…” and then the femininity criteria are listed.
Sometimes your strong-willed children buy into your image, if it has a place of glory for them because that’s really what the fleshly soul wants—glory!
A Life-giving walk with the Lord
requires mortifying the flesh,
and a strong-willed person who finds glory in her image
sees no need for mortification of the fleshly soul life.So this strong-willed child simply exchanges one image for another.
These strong-willed intellectual family members can be an add-on to the image you’re promoting, especially family members who have exchanged images.
Both of these identities
—the tomboy and the “godly woman”—
focus on external performance
rather than relationship with God
that will transform her inner life.The young woman tells you how God worked in her life to remove her passions (advocating loss of individuality) so she can follow the passions of a man, her father, rather than walking with Christ. Her father has become her “god” instead of Christ.
This cult-like mind control, she claims, has freed her. In reality, she is the same person she was when she was a tomboy—confident, strong, and sure. She is not released to receive the love of God, nor to minister it to others.
Her exchanged image is more acceptable to you; but she is still bound in the pride of an image, just like you taught her.
EXAMPLE TWO: REJECTING THE IMAGE Your strong-willed son has been difficult since he was young. He never quite fit the image of that obedient boy who adored with his father and cherished his mother. Whatever you told him to do, he did exactly the opposite. But you reined in him through manipulation, and he unwillingly did what you asked. Throughout his teen years, he performed for you by keeping seethingly quiet, making you look good. But you never developed relationship with him because he simply wouldn’t listen to you. You just hoped and prayed that he would turn out okay.
But when he began working or driving or doing something out from under your influence, he seemingly began to rebel against you. Why? You had tried so hard to teach him what was right and to live the “Christian life,” as you envisioned it, before him.
Strong-willed children, who are forced to live within an image where parents try to strip them of their individuality, simply escape the parents’ influence as soon as they are able. They reject the image you tried to impose upon them.
Sometimes rejecting that image involves rejecting you,their parents, because you are identified with that image of oppression. You only validated them if they performed within the confines of your image, rather than validating them for whom they were created to be in Christ.
Unfortunately, they’ve never experienced the Life-giving, unconditional love of Christ and so they reject Him also—a grievous situation.
Your son seeks to be like others who are very different from you, others who will accept him for who he is—lonely, dejected, and closed. He is an image follower, just like you taught him.
II. Weak-willed children exchange your image
- either for a seemingly “more godly” image
- or for a seemingly “more worldly” image.
Weak-willed children are compliant as they are growing up under your images, making you look like a really great parent. But when they are adults, they often exchange your image for one that is more appealing to them.
EXAMPLE ONE: A “MORE GODLY” IMAGE A weak-willed young lady who has been stripped of her individuality under your image marries a strong-willed man who does not allow her to associate with you, her parents. Why?
Because you, the mother-in-law and father-in-law, don’t fit your son-in-law’s image.
For example, perhaps you associate with non-believers as a part of your outreach; but your new son-in-law’s image requires that you keep yourselves “pure from these influences.” He even quotes Scripture to back up his image, just like you do to back up your image.
Your daughter hasn’t really changed, has she?
She is merely living within an image, just like you taught her.
EXAMPLE TWO: A “MORE WORLDLY” IMAGE Perhaps your son begins working at the local grocery store where he “hangs out” with new friends. He then wants to get a tattoo to fit in with the image of his friends. You’re shocked! This compliant young man has seemingly all of a sudden changed.
Has he? No!
When he went to church he wore the cute little shirt and tie to fit the image at church, which pleased you, because you advocated fitting in with that image. He now continues in that same heart motive—fitting in with an image—but exchanges the shirt-and-tie-image for the tattoo image of his new friends.
He hasn’t changed internally; he’s the same boy. He’s merely living within an image, just like you taught him.
The adult children in these examples
live within images
just like you taught them.You shall have no other gods before Me.
You shall not make for yourself an idol…
For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God,
Visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children,
And on the third and the fourth generations of those who hate Me.
~Deuteronomy 5:9Sometimes it requires generations before one strong-willed intellectual sees the rotten fruit being produced through the security offered in man’s images.
If you are that one woman who is seeing the rotten fruit beginning to develop (or perhaps it is already fully developed in your adult children’s lives), what can you do?
Reject the images
and begin the process of
Spiritual Growth.Let the Lord release you to love.
We are not children of a bondwoman
but of the free woman.
~Galatians 4:31Return to Images that Bind Articles Page
