PARENTING OVERVIEW

DEVELOP
GRACE-BASED PARENTING SKILLS

Rooted In God’s Love ~ Expressed as Godly Behavior

Parenting Overview Introduction

• Develop Grace-Based Parenting Skills
• Operate from a Pro-Active Mindset
  • Frog and Toad Metaphor
• Think from a Godly Worldview

Moms with a grace-based mindset:

A rules-based mindset sets up every issue as an obedience issue.

A grace-based mindset looks at issues from the viewpoint of developing relationship and/or equipping children to make wise decisions.

Therefore, a grace-based mindset does not enter a situation with a command to be obeyed at all costs but rather with a heart ready to be poured out and to receive (i.e., listen) in return.

Example

Let’s say mom walks into a young child’s room to help her make her bed, and the child is sitting on the bed and won’t get off.

The rules-based mindset says, "I need to make a bed; therefore, you, child (who is in the way of my accomplishing that task) need to get off the bed so I can make it." The rules mindset is focused on what needs to be done; the person is in the way of what needs to be done.

The grace-based mindset says, "A bed needs made, but someone—a child whose life I am stewarding, a child who needs to know he is valued and loved—is sitting on that bed, so it's my opportunity to value that child and train that child whom I love how to relate and make wise choices."

Instead of seeing the child as an obstacle to overcome (i.e., I give a command and you obey), the grace-based mindset sees an opportunity to relate to and train that child.

Mom say, “Susie, let’s get started with our morning routine. Time to hop off that bed and get it made before you move forward with other things this morning. Do you need some help this morning with any bedroom chores? I see you have put away your jammies already. That’s very responsible and didn’t go unnoticed. You’re growing in character.”

Nothing builds success like success.

Especially when training a young child, give him the benefit of the doubt (mercy) until he shows unequivocally he doesn't want to obey and he's being willful.

We moms can learn to evaluate three things to determine if a child is being willful or simply being a child:

• Is what my child doing simply childish and that child needs to grow in maturity?

• Is my child disobeying or simply in need of training?

• Am I giving my child enough time to process the child training he is currently engaged in?

We should expect our children to obey; but we also need to give them time to process the child training they are currently engaged in and set them up to succeed.

To read a personal example of training a young child, click here.

When moms bark orders and expect immediate obedience without ever securing the child's heart through grace-filled daily interaction, they are setting up constant conflict and should expect more and more conflict as the child grows older.

But if moms can learn to secure the child's heart at a young age, as the child grows up, he or she will want to obey because that child knows she is loved, valued, and listened to.

The grace-based mindset always seeks to capture and hold a child’s heart so that the child knows he is loved and valued and that any efforts he may make towards obedience, no matter how feeble, are noticed and validated.

In summary,

• Grace-based parenting is rooted in the love of God being poured forth through an abiding mom’s heart.

• Her behavior towards her children will express the love of God for them.

• His love draws children to God-in-mom and, consequently, to mom herself.

Why?

She will, therefore, tap into the love of God when training her children because she realizes that their behavior is simply a reflection of what is happening in their hearts.

Instead of viewing the strife within your homes as personality issues or berating yourself for being a poor parent, view conflict as God's discipline in your children's lives as well as your own. He wants to train you and your children, with grace, to follow Him purposefully so you can walk in the particular path He has chosen uniquely for you.

Parenting Overview Introduction
View Conflicts As Opportunities

• Develop Grace-Based Parenting Skills
  Rooted in God’s Love ~ Expressed as Godly Behavior

• Operate From A Pro-Active Mindset
  Prepare ~ Plant ~ Water ~ Weed
  • Frog and Toad Metaphor
    Waiting by Faith

• Think From A Godly Worldview
  Evaluate the Message ~ Discern the Truth

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