Parenting Overview Series
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Parenting can sometimes bring out the bear in us moms, can’t it?
Both the cuddly teddy bear and, unfortunately, the “you woke me from hibernation” bear.
Or is it unfortunate?
I’ve discovered that when I felt like the bear in the picture to your right, it was because my heart had been bumped. Those bear-like outbursts revealed to me who I am and how much I need His touch to change me.
Through the conflicts at home and in my heart, God had provided me with many personal-growth opportunities.
As I experienced more of his love and grew in his grace through this difficult process of learning to parent, He was equipping me to lead my children through their own personal-growth processes with His love and grace.
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Heart to Heart
Perhaps you’re a mom who is currently frustrated with your own lack of wisdom and weak character.
Maybe you’re wondering if you’ll ever be able to stop the bickering among your children and with you.
I pray that as you learn how God is works through your conflicts at home and in your heart, like me, you will grow to enjoy child training.
~~~~~~
Be encouraged!
God is at work through the conflict
and wants to impart
His wisdom to you,
as you seek Him whole-heartedly. ~~~~~~ Seek and ye shall find.
~Luke 11:9
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But going through those early years of learning to parent… oh, they were overwhelming to me!
I cried a lot through those days, and I also I prayed for God’s wisdom. He renewed my mind in two specific ways so I could
- face the conflict with eagerness rather than run from it.
- evaluate specifically how He was working in my heart and in our home rather than vaguely wonder if I was obeying Him.
Miraculously, I actually grew to enjoy child training once He renewed my mind about how He was working in my heart and my home.
Thank You, Lord!
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With the following specifics in mind, you too can overcome your frustration with and perhaps your fear of conflict when parenting.
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VIEW
CONFLICTS
AS
OPPORTUNITIES
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Any time attitudes are poor, children snort, or you, Mom, cringe and become combative rather than loving and wise—view those conflicts as opportunities for growth.
Renewing your mind about the purpose of conflicts will help you to approach them with anticipation of what God will show you about heart issues rather than to approach them with anger as an interruption to your agenda or with fear that you will not be able to wisely address the ungodly behaviors pouring forth from your children…or from you!
The purpose of conflict
is to help us see into the heart
—both our children’s hearts
and our own—
so both children and mom yield to God.
Once you have renewed your mind and firmly believe that conflict is an opportunity for growth, your spiritual ears and eyes will be open for how to seize the opportunities inherent in conflicts with wisdom so those opportunities are not squandered.
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What You Can Not Do
Only God
- can crucify the flesh,
- bind hearts in healthy relationship with each other and with Him, and
- work His character in our lives.
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DISCERN
WHOSE
FLESH
IS
IN
ACTION
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The first question to ask when a conflict arises is,
Lord, did this conflict begin or is it continuing
because of my flesh, my child’s, or both?
Because I missed this crucial point for years, I neglected to train my children in Godly character principles, always blaming myself and beating myself up for every conflict that arose—if I were just more spiritual, if I were closer to the Lord, if I walked in faith more, prayed more, studied more, then none of these terribly disturbing conflicts would be happening.
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Learn to Discern
When conflict arose, I learned to discern which of these two things was taking place (perhaps both at the same time):
- His Hand at work to crucify my flesh and/or
- His providing me an opportunity to train my children in Godly character.
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It was a vicious cycle of blaming myself, not training my children, which led to more conflict, which caused me to blame myself more… and on it went, over and over again.
I was in despair! I thoroughly enjoyed being a stay-at-home mom and mothering my children; but this parenting thing was just too much for me!
Then one day while homeschooling my children, I had an “Aha!” moment as the Spirit of God spoke to me through my circumstances. I share that process in this personal testimony.
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MOVE
FORWARD
IN
OBEDIENCE
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Once we have a clearer understanding of how the Lord works in the lives of His children, we can move with confidence towards influencing our children by
In addition, we can become wise stewards of our time and move from microwave activities to a crock-pot lifestyle.
I pray that practicing these three ideas, along with wise time management through creating margin in your life, will refresh your resolve to press on with Christ in relationship so He can give you the wisdom you desperately desire to raise Godly seed who will shine forth Godly character that blesses Him and others.
Grow in the grace and knowledge
of our Lord and Savior.
~2 Peter 3:18
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