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HOMESCHOOLING BEGINS WITH HOME

One of the benefits
homeschooling provides:

Affirmation of
(rather than comparison of)
A Child’s Current Abilities

This series of Homeschooling Articles outlines the following themes or benefits homeschooling offers:

  1. Relationship
  2. Stewardship
  3. Scholarship
  4. Easy Recordkeeping

As we moms nurture unconditional love in our homes and in the hearts of our children, we will be able to rejoice with them about their current abilities but yet encourage them to press on towards excellence. In other words,

Be content with—
but not complacent about—
each child’s current abilities.

This article addresses a specific example that many moms worry about and provides a personal testimony to clarify what I mean by the above statement.

Example.

Let’s say a homeschooling mom realizes that her seven-year-old daughter is probably going to pass her nine-year-old brother in reading skills.

Rather than viewing this situation as a problem or a time to compare the two, she can use it as an opportunity to validate each of them and to teach them to be comfortable right where they are without comparing themselves to the other.

Moms whose children are not at grade level or whose younger children are more advanced academically than older ones can choose two courses of action:

  • Contribute to unhealthy sibling rivalry by telling the older child to be more like the younger.

  • Contribute to foundational grounding of self-worth in Christ by

  • being content herself with each child’s academic progress, as long as she knows each child is doing the best he can;

  • affirming to each child that his best work and individual progress is indeed noticed and validated;

  • comparing the less academically advanced child only to Christ—not to his more advanced sibling’s academic ability—as his standard for conduct, not for academic performance.

When mom chooses the second approach,
her children will be comfortable with their progress and
not compare themselves with anyone.

Personal Testimony

My middle son has struggled to learn to read. One afternoon in 2005, then aged nine, the following experience revealed to me that he, indeed, was comfortable with his reading level and had internalized the words I had been speaking to him.

Another family of five children and my family of five children were toodling around in our van, exploring our area, when the children decided to pass a book around from child to child to read a story.

My heart jumped to my throat because I thought, "Oh, dear, my son is going to struggle..."

I listened intently as the book was passed from child to child. When my boy began to read, he faltered. But his 11-year-old brother whispered some of the words to him. It all seemed to be okay.

When we arrived back at our house, one of the seven-year-old girls from the other family said to my son, "Why are you older than I am and I can read better than you can?"

And my son replied very kindly, "Some people read sooner than others, and that's okay. As long as I'm trying my best and making improvements each day, I'm right on schedule." My words exactly! Then he smiled and life moved on.

I was so thankful that my words had reached his heart and he could really live them.

One of the benefits homeschooling offers is the
avoidance of peer comparison
(or sibling comparison).

Instead, moms can affirm a child’s personal progress
and build his confidence in his self-worth in Christ,
not in his academic performance.

Additional articles related to the theme of Scholarship: