The answer to this question will be as unique as each heart in the home. As you get to know your children and abide in Christ, He will give you the answer for your particular relationships.
For example, in our home, there was a time when my youngest child would become quite overwhelmed while playing games with his siblings. He would get so angry that he would jump on them and hit them. I did set up this issue of game-playing as an obedience/self-control issue for him.
I told him, "Bud, if you want to continue to play this particular game with your siblings, you may not become so angry that you start hitting them. If you do, you will need to experience some pain (spank) for your lack of self-control."
The first time I corrected him with the spank (not because I was angry or out of control myself but because he knew the consequence of his disobedience), I also reminded him that anger is a clue that something is wrong. Acting out in anger is sin. I instructed him, “When you feel angry, that’s your clue to exercise self-control. You can choose one of three things: move away from the situation, come to Mommy for help, or pray that God would help you with self-control.”
On the other hand, he still talks very loud. I mean, VERY loud. It hurts our ears at
times. For him, this behavior is a childish thing. He is quite immature for his age,
and being the fifth child he tries to converse with everyone and sometimes becomes overanimated and gets loud. As he matures, this also may become a self-control/obedience issue. But at his young, immature age, I did not set it up as an obedience issue.
Ask the Lord to show you which issues to set up in your home for your individual children. Choose which issues are most important for that season of a child's life.
The question to ask is, Is this a childish behavior or is this a sin issue? Using my example, talking loud when you’re immature and young and also when you're the fifth child is not a sin issue; it's a childish issue. But hitting a sibling in anger is a sin issue.
Lord, help each mom to discern where she can be consistent in child training through choosing to train them through specific issues for her uniquely created and growing children.
