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Free to "Be"

by Denise

How perfect to label some of the teachings on submission as "binding"! I absolutely agree! There is so much freedom being who GOD created us to be as wives! I married my best friend 20 years ago. Our marriage is a covenant before God, which we shared at our wedding.

At one point in my journey of learning about being a 'submissive' wife, I went through a very unbiblical Bible study about being the wife of a happy husband. I shared the shocking things the women said, especially about sexual issues. With a load of guilt, I apologized for not being a "submissive" wife and told him all the things I did wrong. He had 2 loving responses. First, the husbands were lying to their wives about their sexual "needs" (demands) and second, that he knew how to do laundry, cook and clean so I didn't need to worry if they weren't done! He also told me that he WANTS to know my opinions and thoughts. (I'm a pretty independent, opinionated woman-which is part of what my dh LOVES about me and why he married me!)

I love having the freedom to be a "non-traditional" housewife and be who God created me to be. There is so much freedom!!!!! When the Lord revealed to me the responsibilities Christian husband's have, my love, respect, and support for my dh bloomed even more.

An example of my dh trust in me occurred a couple weeks ago. I found a second hand van that I really wanted. My dh and I took it for a drive and he let me bargain with the sales man for it, which I love doing. The sales man wouldn't come down as far as I wanted to go so we walked away knowing the lowest amount he would take. For the next couple days, we discussed the pro's and con's of purchasing it. I told my dh that if he told me no, I wouldn't buy it. My dh's response was, "If you feel the Lord is leading you to buy the van, I'm NOT going to get in your way and tell you you can't buy it." I was stunned by his response since I never mentioned anything about God. I decided to wait a few days and felt if it was the Lord's will, I would know. When I called back, a week later, the van was no longer for sale. I thought it was wonderful that my dh trusted me and my relationship with the Lord that he didn't want to get in the way.

On the flip side. 18 yrs ago my dh wanted to buy a house that I wasn't particularly fond of. We listed the pro's and cons of the house and I left the final decision up to him, which was a struggle. Short version, he took my list of cons and did some remodeling to accommodate my needs and desires! The house has been an excellent investment. I feel the Lord blessed us!

Blessings to all of you!
Denise

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Free to "Be"

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Thank You!
by: Linda, site owner

This is a marvelous testimony about how a healthy marriage functions! Other women need to see these kinds of examples of Christian men (God has blessed your husband with much wisdom) and women who function as Godly co-heirs who submit to each other (her through loving respect and him through respectfully loving) rather than as military, hierarchical subjects.

My husband has responded in the same way as yours over the last ten years. He wants my input, gives his input, and we make decisions together in unity. It is a marvelous place to live-- in liberty and love and unity.

Lord, continue to bless this marriage and the marriages of all the readers of this website as husbands and wives submit to each other through respectfully loving and loving respect.

Thank you again, Denise. Your testimony is refreshing.

Thank you!
by: Denise

Thank you, Linda, for your encouraging words. I can hardly begin to express how blessed I have been in my marriage.

Before we were married, the Lord revealed to me, through a required class, that I was brought up in a very dysfunctional Christian family (the Lord revealed that my mother was an Adult Child of an Alcoholic), and that I had learned those behavioral characteristics, especially how to be manipulative, deceitful, and controlling, even if I hadn't been overtly living that way. I could see where the issues were creeping into my life and how they had affected relationships, especially with my future husband. I was heartbroken when the Lord revealed my sins and yet I rejoiced that I had an opportunity to make changes before we were married. I was committed to no longer live in that sin, which I am still acutely aware of, and choose to not take that path.

As I progressed through the required workbook, "The Twelve Steps, A Spiritual Journey," based on Biblical teachings, I prayed, and still pray, the Lord would continually mold me into the woman He desires me to be so that we can work towards a unified, godly marriage.

Obviously, I would highly recommend the book to everyone. However, one needs to be willing to allow the Lord to change THEM through it, not think of all the ways other people need to change, including husbands.

Besides praying for our husbands to be godly men, I believe we must pray for the Lord to reveal our sins to us, as wives, and for a willingness, the wisdom, and freedom to become who HE desires us to be.

As women, we need to realize the power we have to impact our husbands, good and/or bad, emotionally, physically, and spiritually, and choose to never misuse it. As we turn from our sin and continue to grow and change, we will impact our husbands because we are united with them, "...the two shall become one flesh", Ephesians 5. We made a holy marriage covenant with them and with God the day we took our vows. We are their co-heirs, as you put it, Linda.

I would encourage every woman to research what it really means to have a HOLY marriage COVENANT.

Another great study is Eph. 5. I'm still amazed that our example of a marriage is Christ and the church.

I love your prayer, Linda.
"Lord, continue to bless this marriage and the marriages of all the readers of this website as husbands and wives submit to each other through respectfully loving and loving respect."
AMEN!

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Submitted by: Denise

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Thank you, Linda, for your encouraging words. I can hardly begin to express how blessed I have been in my marriage. Before we were married, the Lord revealed to me, through a required class, that I was brought up in a very dysfunctional Christian family (the Lord revealed that my mother was an Adult Child of an Alcoholic), and that I had learned those behavioral characteristics, especially how to be manipulative, deceitful, and controlling, even if I hadn't been overtly living that way. I could see where the issues were creeping into my life and how they had affected relationships, especially with my future husband. I was heartbroken when the Lord revealed my sins and yet I rejoiced that I had an opportunity to make changes before we were married. I was committed to no longer live in that sin, which I am still acutely aware of, and choose to not take that path. As I progressed through the required workbook, "The Twelve Steps, A Spiritual Journey," based on Biblical teachings, I prayed, and still pray, the Lord would continually mold me into the woman He desires me to be so that we can work towards a unified, godly marriage. Obviously, I would highly recommend the book to everyone. However, one needs to be willing to allow the Lord to change THEM through it, not think of all the ways other people need to change, including husbands. Besides praying for our husbands to be godly men, I believe we must pray for the Lord to reveal our sins to us, as wives, and for a willingness, the wisdom, and freedom to become who HE desires us to be. As women, we need to realize the power we have to impact our husbands, good and/or bad, emotionally, physically, and spiritually, and choose to never misuse it. As we turn from our sin and continue to grow and change, we will impact our husbands because we are united with them, "...the two shall become one flesh", Ephesians 5. We made a holy marriage covenant with them and with God the day we took our vows. We are their co-heirs, as you put it, Linda. I would encourage every woman to research what it really means to have a HOLY marriage COVENANT. Another great study is Eph. 5. I'm still amazed that our example of a marriage is Christ and the church. I love your prayer, Linda. "Lord, continue to bless this marriage and the marriages of all the readers of this website as husbands and wives submit to each other through respectfully loving and loving respect." AMEN!

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