MARRIAGE ARTICLES
RELATIONSHIP PRINCIPLES |
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My husband and I have lived through many difficulties throughout our marriage:
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By the Lord’s grace, mercy and great love for us, we celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary in 2005.
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It was a precious time of renewing covenant vows, blessing our children, and sharing with family and friends. We shed many tears of joy and thanksgiving as our hearts were knitted together more deeply. In the many years preceding this time of celebration, however, the tears that were shed were not so joyous as God was dealing with our sin. |
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As my husband and I were living in an unequally yoked marriage, I was meeting regularly with a wise and godly woman named Ruth for study and prayer. At times I would share specifics of my marriage with her and ask for counsel.
One day I mentioned something that was really irritating me. My husband and I would take turns washing the dishes in the evening and would let them drip dry in the dish drainer.
On the nights that I would wash dishes, he would suggest that I stack the dishes in the drainer in a different pattern so they would dry more quickly and could be put away sooner. I felt he was criticizing me unfairly, and I told Ruth he needed to learn to be more flexible so I planned to continue to stack the dishes my way and he could stack them his way.
I protested, "It just doesn't matter how the dishes are stacked."
Her response dumbfounded me: "If it doesn't matter, why not do it his way?"
This principle really took root in my heart and helped me to learn to submit to him, even when I felt he wasn't being obedient to the Word, by asking this question:
If not, I'll willingly do it his way.
As we've grown in our marriage, I've learned that there really aren't too many things that do matter, especially related to everyday life, like stacking dishes. As I submitted in my heart in these seemingly small ways, he knew my heart was with him.
Over a period of six years as I continued to yield to him willingly in these kinds of areas, he began to trust me more and seek my input on things that did matter. One day, much to my surprise and delight, He trusted Christ. We still had quite a bit to work through (that’s an understatement), but the Lord sustained us.
Now that we are both Christians, he always seeks my input as we plan our life together. Often he does things the way I think they should be done! He doesn't even make any suggestions about stacking dishes anymore because I still do it his way. Cheerfully.
Oh, and they really do dry faster!
her spiritual Head,
as she submits to her husband willingly
in their everyday life together.
release them to love.
Who is the head, even Christ.
~Ephesians 4:15
~Ephesians 5:21