 A lot of metaphors can be taken from gardening. The example of seed planting is often addressed in the Bible and is a practical metaphor for daily living. this he will also reap. ~Galatians 6:7 If you intend to plant lettuce but instead plant carrots, you will get carrots. If you don’t want carrots and you see the leaves of the carrots coming up, you can do one of two things: you can continue to plant carrots, or you can stop and uproot the carrot plants and then begin to plant lettuce.
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for this is well pleasing to the Lord. ~Colossians 3:20 Say a Christian mom takes her four-year-old son on an outing. She tells him that if he does not obey her, he cannot play with his friend the next day. The reason he obeyed on the outing was so that he could play with his friend the next day. Obviously, the mother has previously planted 'carrots' (relationships with friends) being more valued than ‘lettuce” (relationship with parents and God). 'Carrots' will produce the fruit of friends being more influential than the parents and God in the child's life. This mother is now unconsciously reinforcing her child’s desire to value relationship with friends rather than reinforcing the desire to value relationship with his parents and God. She planted 'carrots' (value friends first) rather than planting 'lettuce' (value parents and God first). love for God should.
She may be happy with 'carrots' at the moment but…
The relationship with parents who are walking in the Spirit will ultimately lead to the child's relationship with God of his own free will because he has experienced the love of God flowing through his parents; friend relationships among youngsters will not. True friend relationships begin in the late teens and early twenties.
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In our own family, every weekday afternoon Mommy reads out loud to all of us. The younger children color, cut out paper dolls, or do other quiet projects. One day, my eight-year-old brother wanted to color but didn't have a place to put his book. My four-year-old brother moved the piano bench over by my other brother so that he could place his book on it. Mommy said to my four-year-old brother, “Darlin’, remember your memory verse? Love is kind. You are showing your brother that you love him." In this example, Mommy used God's Word to praise my four-year-old brother’s heart intent of service, rather than praising my brother. Mommy was unconsciously reinforcing the desire to please God rather than reinforcing the desire to be praised for actions. She is planting 'lettuce.' Instead of using playtime with friends as a reward for good behavior, she is using God's Word to encourage my brother to please God.
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The reason I like to be with my mother is because she likes to be with me. She has a personal interest in me. In other words, because she is my mother, she won't dump me. She has unconditional love for me. An unsaved 'friend' will not have a servant's heart because he does not have Christ's heart. Only through Christ can we truly serve and appreciate people.  A four-year-old having another four-year-old as a friend is merely eating from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Perhaps the godly four-year-old will minister to the ungodly four-year-old but the amount of influence may be reversed. Remember, the sin nature does not need to be reinforced; it is built in. The sin nature needs to be torn down. Godly character must be built from the ground up. A friend is someone whose company you desire. I desire my Mom's company. (Webster's 1828 definition) One who is attached to another by affection; one who entertains for another sentiments of esteem, respect and affection, which lead him to desire his company, and seek to promote his happiness and prosperity .
to hear of my children walking in the truth. ~3 John 4
Other topics in this parenting series:
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