Christian Parenting Series
Part 2, Discipling Reasoning Children |
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An overarching vision for the
season of discipling
reasoning children
is summed up in one word:
UNFOLDING.
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Just as you wouldn’t begin peeling back the petals of a rose to get it to bloom, you cannot force the “blooming” of those you love or even of yourself.
Instead you can…
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- become proactive
in your parenting and discipling, watering and weeding the seeds God has instructed you to plant—seeds you are planting in your children’s lives because Father-God is planting those in your life as well.
- seek unity with your husband in your everyday life together. (See the Marriage section of this Christian website to explore this concept more fully.)
- continue to grow in relationship with the Lord through moment-by-moment prayer and worship. Let Him be your spiritual Head—your Source for love, life, and wisdom. (See the Spiritual Growth section.)
Let the Lord change them ~ Let the Lord change you!
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Rejoice in the reality of the unfolding of your children’s lives.
You cannot force your children to bloom. But you can cooperate with the Lord through developing the tool of home and yielding your heart to the Lord so that you yourself can become a purified vessel through which God pours His Life and Love to your children.
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Putting relationships first, above all other activities, develops your faith, as you wait on the Lord—cooperating with Him—for the unfolding of your children’s lives.
As you live with that vision before you—that you have a part in helping your children reach their full potential in Christ—you will begin to change how you relate to them as you…
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If there is more room for superfluous activities during this season
than for relationship building,
you may be walking down a path leading your children
to become steadfast in sin
rather than
steadfast in the Lord.
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- process with them through the everydayness of life, rather than let peers mentor them or other adults mentor them superficially periodically;
- validate who they are becoming by building on their strengths, rather than fret over and focus on their weaknesses; and
- love them unconditionally as you continue to train them in character, rather than expect them to perform to school, societal, or church standards.
A CHILD WHO IS
- listened to instead of lectured
- validated for who she is becoming instead of forced into an image, and
- loved unconditionally instead of loved for performance,
WILL BECOME A CHILD WHO
LISTENS,
VALIDATES,
LOVES—
a child who is motivated from within to become all she was created to become.
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Only by the power of the One who created us are we able to motivate our children over the long term through a life-long process of commitment to them and their "whole person" growth.
"Whole person" growth isn't about performance; rather "whole person" growth involves the whole person—the body, soul [mind (this is where academics fits in, and it's just a small part of the vision), will, emotions], and spirit.
When processing, validating, and loving is taking place moment by moment between parents and children, parents never need to force growth externally [we can’t anyway] because the child's inward heart motivation to please the one she loves and to become all she was created to be will be motivation enough.
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We Christian moms want to please the One Who loves us and become all He created us to be; so it is with our own children. It's the way God parents us moms so we too can learn to parent our children from the overflow of His love, life, and wisdom through us.
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The reality of a mom’s life through
this season of discipling reasoning children
will be focused on her growing relationship with her children
through the unique circumstances of each of their lives.
When a mom focuses on securing relationships with her children, she will hold their hearts and learn to rejoice in her reality for this season: processing, validating, and loving unconditionally. God will grow her faith as she embraces the essence of her reality.
The laying down of her life that is required to cooperate with the Lord in carrying out these principles will grow mom into more of the image of Christ. She can rejoice in the process that God is using to grow her and her family through her unique relationships and circumstances!
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The reality of your circumstances and relationships becomes more intense during the season of discipling your reasoning children.
Why?
Because children’s temperaments and personalities
begin to emerge,
BIG TIME!
- Dealing with relationship issues among siblings—or not dealing with relationships among siblings—can become overwhelming.
- If you are not developing the tool of home and are not stewarding your time wisely, your circumstances also can become overwhelming.
- Out-of-control relationships and out-of-control circumstances can also affect your marriage.
- Children with strong temperaments present unique opportunities for mom’s growth as well (I will be writing about this aspect of mom’s growth soon).
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This book offers practical, Biblical counsel to help you dwell in your reality and rejoice!
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When your personal life or your home life seems out of control,
- Take the time to examine your own heart first.
God can be speaking to you through those relationships and circumstances that your own heart (will, emotions, intellect) is not under the Lordship of Christ.
Perhaps fear drives you, and God is beckoning you to rest in Him.
- Be assured that He will not forsake you through troubling times but is right there coming alongside you.
- Put down your agenda, someone else’s agenda for you, and turn to Him! His burden is light.
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Mom’s yielded heart is a key tool that God uses to bring about change.
Is your heart yielded to man’s agenda for you or
are you yielding your heart to the Lordship of Christ moment by moment?
Is He the Lord of your life?
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The first step to begin to rejoice in the reality of your relationships and circumstances is to examine your own heart.
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Personal Reflections. I desired that God become the center of my life, but I didn’t know what that meant practically. I didn’t think I could hear Him for myself and sought others’ input before I sought His.
After a season of seeking only Him and dwelling in the reality of my intense circumstances, I began to see that God was indeed “speaking” to me through my unique relationships and circumstances. During this season, His Spirit taught me to hearken to His Voice.
Use this season of intensity to discover how He speaks to you, my dear sister-in-Christ.
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God uses your unique relationships and circumstances to…
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He loves you (Jeremiah 31:3 and many more verses), validates you (3 John 1:4), and wants to process with you (Isaiah 1:18). Rejoice in that reality! Let Him disciple you through this season of discipling your own children.
Through His Spirit at work in your yielded heart, you will begin to
rejoice in the reality of your circumstances and relationships
while discipling your reasoning children.
Enjoy the process of watching their lives unfold before you,
just as your Parent, Father-God,
enjoys watching your life unfold before Him!
Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden,
and I will give you rest.
~Matthew 11:28
Other articles in this Discipling Reasoning Children series:
Top of this page; Table of Contents
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