CHRISTIAN PARENTING SERIES
PART II
DISCIPLING REASONING CHILDREN
DEVELOP THE TOOL OF HOME THROUGH
ROUTINES The Door to Practicing Standards of Conduct
- Parenting Young Children
- Discipling Reasoning Children Introduction
- Transition to Standards of Conduct
- Develop the Tool of Home
- Example of Honoring (Do Extra)
- Example of Honoring (Faithfulness)
- Example of Perseverance
- Examples of Coming Alongside
- Rejoice in Reality
- A Conversation Between Two Moms
- Releasing Steadfast Children
- Celebrating Established People of God
Establishing Standards of Conduct—when carried out in the Spirit under the overarching banner of love—will provide children and parents with a structure within which to apply Life-giving Biblical principles. [Please note that although I am mainly using the word moms through this article, these ideas could easily apply to both parents.] Routine will become the door
through which to practice the Standards of Conduct. Daily routines are useful ways to practice fleshing out the specific Standards of Conduct that moms have purposefully identified and are proactively training into their children's lives. Routines within which to apply Standards of Conduct can be lovingly established during chore time, play-time, bedtime, and mealtime, while developing a skill, and also during real-life activities like grocery shopping with mom, among a variety of other ways. During these routine parts of the day, parents - model Standards of Conduct before their children,
- instruct children about how to carry out those standards with a cheerful heart attitude,
- correct any misunderstandings,
- administer appropriate consequences to a child who may disobey instruction and correction, and/or
- validate a child’s growing character.
The content of these routine blocks of time will change throughout life; but a parent exercising loving authority will learn to view conflict as opportunities that present themselves during each and every day during these routines to minister to their children’s heart and lead them to embrace Biblical principles that will shape who they are becoming. MOM’S GROWTH Beginning and continuing in this process of training your Reasoning Children to examine their own hearts in the light of Standards of Conduct requires parental diligence and discernment. As moms get to know each of their children individually through quality and quantity periods of time; as moms learn to pray specifically for each child; as moms diligently set Standards of Conduct, model them, and correct and instruct children to walk in those standards, moms will receive discernment from the Spirit about how to identify and deal with heart issues that will arise in each child (and in the moms themselves). Throughout this process, grace-based leading will draw your children’s hearts to you and create a desire for righteousness in the children’s hearts. Your relationship with them will grow, and your relationship with the Lord will grow as you seek His wisdom for your particular circumstances and relationships. A CHORE TIME ROUTINE
BENEFITS CHILDREN AND MOMS.We have had child-training success in our home during our chore time routine. A well explained routine is very helpful. Pray that the Lord would show you what kinds of chores each child can do successfully. For example, my little four-year-old can empty the trash cans without a problem. He can also put toys in their proper places. My six-year-old can dust certain pieces of furniture. My eight-year-old can sweep the floor and stack diapers in the diaper-stacker. My 10-year-old can do most anything these days and doesn't need a lot of instruction. All the children help set the table before meals and clear the table after meals and are faithful in taking care of our farm chores. Keeping a routine going for chores has been very helpful so that everyone knows what is expected. Completing the chore is a side benefit of routine.
Addressing ungodly behavior and validating character growth
—in both children and moms—
are the ultimate goals! Implementing routines gives moms opportunities to identify sin in their own lives while helping children grow into responsible, accountable, productive people. Moms must become responsible, accountable and productive themselves to model these character qualities before their children during times of routine. God will use the routines to take hold of moms’ hearts so they can identify their sin and then yield their hearts to the Lord to mortify that sin. Moms with yielded hearts will die to defeating self-habits of laziness, avoidance and blame-games, and also grow in discernment and wisdom. | The home becomes joyful rather than chaotic because self-centeredness dies while Biblical principles are beginning to take shape, building a structure through which the Spirit of God can begin to flow and come alive. As children grow, new responsibilities can be included in their various routines. Add one new, clearly defined responsibility at a time so no one, including moms, becomes frustrated about what is expected. At first you'll need to cheerfully come alongside your children, instructing until the routine is established. It may take months or days, depending on the age and maturity of your child and, more importantly, depending upon your attitude when training them. When implementing something new, moms who are allowing God full access to their hearts can begin with ongoing moment-by-moment prayer, asking Him to teach them how to shower their children with unconditional love while leading them to embrace the new responsibility. We parents need to die to anger and wrong and lofty expectations, and instead embrace the joy of the process of growing together with our children in Biblical principles that will shape all our lives. The reward for embracing the habits integral in routine is character growth and learning to serve others cheerfully. With this vision in mind, establishing simple routines within your homes will go a long way in developing healthy relationships and Godly character that enable the Spirit of God to work through you and your children toward the fulfillment of His particular plan for each of your lives. | Personal Note Emilie Barnes has written many helpful books for home management. The following books provided me with practical homemaking help, which I then applied as routines for our family: |
Coming alongside your children cheerfully during household routines will soon grow into the deeper blessing of coming alongside your children as they develop their personal interests. Working out the Standards of Conduct
through coming alongside your children in various routines
will grow you, Mom, as you
embrace the truths of God and internalize them!
God’s love flowing through Mom
will draw her children to God-in-her
Who will lead them to become steadfast children,
established in Godly character.
Therefore, be imitators of God, as beloved children;
and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you.
~Ephesians 5:1
Four-Part Series
Mom’s Growth While Raising Children
Links and Navigation Help
- Parenting Young Children
My Child ~ His Child - Discipling Reasoning Children
Follow the Crowd! ~ Follow the Lord! - Releasing Steadfast Children
Stewarding My Child ~ Releasing His Child - Celebrating Established People of God
My Child Established ~ His Child Established
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