CHRISTIAN PARENTING SERIES
PART I
PARENTING YOUNG CHILDREN

DEVELOP THE TOOL OF HOME BY
BRINGING YOUR YOUNG CHILDREN
ALONGSIDE YOU

Enjoy the Process ~ Experience Real Life

1. Parenting Young Children Introduction
   
   • Establish Grace-Based Rules
     
     • Training in Obedience
       
     • Consequences for Disobedience
       
     • Example of Child Training
       
   • Develop the Tool of Home
     • Bringing Your Children Alongside You
       
     • The Beaver Story
       
   • Rejoice in Reality
     
   • A Conversation Between Two Moms
     
2. Discipling Reasoning Children
   
3. Releasing Steadfast Children
   
4. Celebrating Established People of God

When we bring our young children alongside us, that doesn't mean that they need to do what we adults can do. It just means to have them there near us. We don't have to bark orders at them and expect them to hop to it to carry out our household agenda. No, we just have to bring them alongside us—as we carry out our household agendas and parenting responsibilities—with joy!

And we need to expect that bringing our children alongside us will require more time to get the tasks done! As we slow down to include our precious little ones, we will begin to enjoy the process of just being with them. Slowing down benefits us moms as well, as we begin to discern what is truly needful and what is fluff in our lives.

When my children were eight and under, as I would fold clothes from the dryer or the line, I would have them sit nearby. The young ones would match socks. The other ones would fold [whispering] undies. (They thought this was so funny). Really they didn't fold them, the just sorted them into piles of whose were whose.

TOGETHER, we would take these things to the appropriate places. Perhaps while putting the socks and undies away, we would see that a trash can needed emptied, so I would say, "Don't do a little; do a little extra." And then we would empty the trash can together too.

When we parents become irritated because our work is not done the way we think it should be, we're teaching our children that the goal of accomplishing the work is more important than enjoying the process of working—that the process of work is a burden—rather than teaching them to enjoy the process of work. Work is a blessing, not a curse!

Yes, we need to set goals for what should be accomplished each day—dishes washed, floors swept, beds made, laundry done—but it's the process that we enjoy with our children. The household things get done as a side benefit of enjoying the process.

My older children still follow me around as I'm carrying out household chores, just because we like to be together. We talk deeply and chat, too, about all sorts of things through the process of cleaning up.

In 1994 when my daughter began reading (she read at a very young age), I would set her on the counter near me with a book to read to me while I did the dishes. While I washed, she read. What a great way to redeem the time! Two things were being accomplished at once, plus I was bringing her alongside me—not to wash dishes but to enjoy the process of being with her. We enjoyed talking with each other about what was in the book and whatever else came to mind.

As time passed, those conversations developed more deeply. In 2008, we still love to talk about all sorts of things, and now our supper table has become a place of great reflection as my 14-year-old son joins in on these deeper conversations too. Plus all the children enjoy sharing with their dad about the conversations we all had during the day.

When my daughter turned 10 in 2000, her baby brother was a newborn. One of the things she did, among many others, was put him in the baby backpack while she washed dishes, just to be with him. I have a photo of them washing dishes "together," and it's one of my son's favorite photos. When he sees it, he goes to his sister and kisses her.

Even to this day—she is 17 and he is 7—they so enjoy being together. When she gets home from her college classes, he runs to her and calls her name with such joy, and she picks him up in her arms and hugs him tightly and says, "Muffy (I have no idea why she calls him that), I missed you so much. What have you been doing today?" They enjoy being with each other.

1. Parenting Young Children
   My Child ~ His Child
   • Establish Grace-Based Rules
     Rules Address Behavior ~ Principles Reach the Heart
     • Training in Obedience
       Call Your Child to Come to You

     • Consequences for Disobedience
       Obedience Brings Blessing ~ Disobedience Brings Pain

     • Example of Child Training
       Right or Wrong?

   • Develop the Tool of Home
     Focused ~ Non-Artificial ~ Intense
     • Bringing Your Children Alongside You
       Enjoy the Process ~ Experience Real Life

     • The Beaver Story
       Restrain External Influences

   • Rejoice in Reality
     Let Him Change You ~ Let Him Change Them

   • A Conversation Between Two Moms
     Heart to Heart

2. Discipling Reasoning Children
   Follow the Crowd? ~ Follow the Lord!

3. Releasing Steadfast Children
   Stewarding My Child ~ Releasing His Child

4. Celebrating Established People of God
   My Child Established ~ His Child Established

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