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Christian Parenting Series
Part 1, Parenting Young Children


Navigation Links

Table of Contents

  1. Parenting Young Children Introduction
    1. Establish Grace-Based Rules
      1. Training in Obedience
      2. Consequences for Disobedience
      3. Example of Child Training
    2. Develop the Tool of Home
      1. Bring Your Children Alongside You
        (This article)
      2. The Beaver Story
    3. Rejoice in Reality
    4. A Conversation Between Two Moms
  2. Discipling Reasoning Children
  3. Releasing Steadfast Children
  4. Celebrating Established People of God

This Article’s Topics:

Bring Alongside

Why Bring Alongside?

Summary


BRING YOUR CHILDREN ALONGSIDE YOU

EXAMPLE

When my children were eight and under, as I would fold clothes from the dryer or the line, I would have them sit nearby. The young ones would match socks.

The other ones would fold [whispering] undies. (They thought this was so funny). Really they didn't fold them, the just sorted them into piles of whose were whose.

TOGETHER, we would take these things to the appropriate places.

Perhaps while putting the socks and undies away, we would see that a trash can needed emptied, so I would say, "Don't do a little; do a little extra."

And then we would empty the trash can together too.

When we bring our young children alongside us, that doesn't mean that they need to do what we adults can do.

It just means to have them there near us.

We don't have to bark orders at them and expect them to hop to it to carry out our household agenda. No, we just have to bring them alongside us—as we carry out our household agendas and parenting responsibilities—with joy!

And we need to expect that bringing our children alongside us will require more time to get the tasks done!

As we slow down to include our precious little ones, we will begin to enjoy the process of just being with them.

Slowing down benefits us moms as well, as we begin to discern what is truly needful and what is fluff in our lives.

Return to the Table of Contents

WHY BRING THEM ALONGSIDE?

REASON 1
To teach them that work is a blessing, not a curse!

When we parents become irritated because we think our children are not doing household work the way we think it should be, we're teaching our children that the goal of accomplishing the work is more important than enjoying the process of working. Work is a blessing, not a curse!

Yes, we need to set goals for what should be accomplished each day—dishes washed, floors swept, beds made, laundry done, meals prepared (see sidebar)—but it's the process that we enjoy with our children.

Household tasks do get accomplished
as a side benefit
of enjoying the process of working together.

Resolve to teach your children to enjoy the process of work because you yourself enjoy working with your children.

My older children still follow me around as I'm carrying out household chores, just because we like to be together. We talk deeply and chat, too, about all sorts of things through the process of cleaning up.

I always enjoyed bringing my young children alongside me while preparing meals.

Now that they are older, they value the relationships we have developed and the memories we have made together.
I value them as well!

This cookbook has been particularly helpful, fun, and informative, as we learned about the basics of nutrition together.

Website link:
Sue Gregg Cookbooks: Lunches & Snacks

Return to the Table of Contents

REASON 2
To develop relationships with our children—
so they will desire us to come alongside them as they mature.

In 1994 when my daughter began reading (she read at a very young age), I would set her on the counter near me with a book to read to me while I did the dishes. While I washed, she read. What a great way to redeem the time! Two things were being accomplished at once, plus I was bringing her alongside me—not to wash dishes but to enjoy the process of being with her. We enjoyed talking with each other about what was in the book and whatever else came to mind.

As time passed, those conversations developed more deeply. In 2008, we still love to talk about all sorts of things, and now our supper table has become a place of great reflection as my 14-year-old son joins in on these deeper conversations too. Plus all the children enjoy sharing with their dad about the conversations we all had during the day.

Read more about
one mom’s growth process:

A desperate mom’s testimony

Return to the Table of Contents

REASON 3
To help our children develop loving relationships with each other.

When my daughter turned 10 in 2000, her baby brother was a newborn. One of the things she did, among many others, was put him in the baby backpack while she washed dishes, just to be with him. I have a photo of them washing dishes "together," and it's one of my son's favorite photos. When he sees it, he goes to his sister and kisses her.

Even to this day—she is 17 and he is 7—they so enjoy being together. When she gets home from her college classes, he runs to her and calls her name with such joy, and she picks him up in her arms and hugs him tightly and says, "Muffy (I have no idea why she calls him that), I missed you so much. What have you been doing today?" They enjoy being with each other.

Return to the Table of Contents

SUMMARY

We parents bring our children alongside us when they are young to show them in a practical way that we simply enjoy being with them.

Then as our children get older, they will enjoy being with us parents and receiving our influence as well as enjoy being with each other.

We are setting the stage for the teen years to be full of healthy relationships rather than full of self-centeredness and rebellion.


Every man who eats and drinks
sees good in all his labor—
it is the gift of God.
~Ecclesiastes 3:13

Other articles in this Parenting Young Children series:


Top of this page; Table of Contents

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