child training a five-year-old who knew his child-specific rule gives you at least one “Aha!” moment that will enable you to grow in your parenting skills.
A few years ago, my ten-year-old son came bursting into the house crying that his bike was broken because his five-year-old brother touched the gears. The five-year-old then came scampering in as well, crying loudly. He kept wailing, “I say I sorry. I say I sorry!” Of course, I knew by that “confession” that indeed the new bike was broken. My five-year-old had touched someone’s things without permission and broken it. One of his established rules was, “Don’t touch your siblings’ things without permission.” He also knew about honor and obedience. In addition, he knew the consequences of breaking the rules was pain. He was so wild with his crying that I took him to “the chair”—a place where he can cool off so I am able to talk with him. After a few minutes, I went to him and asked him why he was crying. He said that Poppy (that’s what he calls his dad) was going to be so mad, and then our conversation continued something like this: Why will Poppy be mad? Because the bike broke (sobbing and sniffling). Did you touch the bike? Yeeeeeeesssssssss (sobbing more and more). Was it right or wrong to touch the bike? I don’t know. Hmmm….. I think you do know if it was right or wrong. Do you need some more time to think this through? No, mama. I only five (sobbing louder). Even a child is known by his actions. What kind of actions did my five-year-old do? I just a little boy (sobbing and sobbing). Little boys know about right and wrong. You know about right and wrong. You also know about touching other people’s things. Is touching other people’s things right or wrong? Wrooooooonnnnnnnggggg (sobbing). Yes, touching other people’s things is wrong. So, you knew it was wrong to touch the bike, but you did it anyway. Do I understand what happened? Yes, Mama (sobbing and sobbing). When you know that you are doing something wrong and you do it anyway, what’s that called? Sin, Mama (sobbing and sobbing). You can stop crying now. You have just confessed—agreed with God—that touching someone else’s things is wrong, you knew it was wrong, and you did it anyway. (sniffling) What happens when you sin? Pain. A ‘pank. (After the spanking). Sin has consequences, doesn’t it? The first consequence is pain to you. And very, very often, sin has painful consequences to someone else too. Do you think your brother is feeling the pain of your actions? He can’t ride his new bike now because of what you did. (sobbing) Now why are you crying? Because my brother is sad. Is there anything you can do to make your brother not sad? No, Mama. His bike is broke (sobbing). You can stop crying. So you can see that sin has consequences to other people too. You’re right. There is nothing you can do to make your brother stop being sad about his bike. Perhaps your Poppy can, but we’ll have to wait until he gets home to see if he can fix it. But there is something you can do to let your brother know that you are sorry about your actions. He found brother and apologized and asked his brother to forgive him. We all prayed together.
I share this example with you of how parenting through child-training issues are opportunities, if we just look for them. Instead of getting mad about the issue (like the broken bike, for example), look deeper in the heart of the matter and pray that God will touch the heart of your children as you reach out to them. Lord, help us to seize the opportunities You give us and to take the time to listen to our children as we love them through life’s circumstances and through the choices—right and wrong—they make….just like You do for us.
we were kept in custody under the law being shut up to the faith which was later to be revealed. Therefore the Law has become our tutor to lead us to Christ. ~Galatians 3:23-24 Other articles in this Parenting Young Children series:
Top of this page; Table of Contents Return to Christian Parenting Articles Page
|
