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CHRISTIAN PARENTING SERIES
PART I
PARENTING YOUNG CHILDREN

CONSEQUENCES FOR DISOBEDIENCE

Obedience Brings Blessing ~ Disobedience Brings Pain

  1. Parenting Young Children Introduction
    • Establish Grace-Based Rules
      • Training in Obedience
      • Consequences for Disobedience
      • Example of Child Training
    • Develop the Tool of Home
      • Bringing Your Children Alongside You
      • The Beaver Story
    • Rejoice in Reality
    • A Conversation Between Two Moms
  2. Discipling Reasoning Children
  3. Releasing Steadfast Children
  4. Celebrating Established People of God

DISOBEDIENCE EXAMPLE

You might be asking, What should I do if I call my child and he purposefully runs the other way, laughing?

The first time a child willfully disobeys your call to come, go to him, take his hand and lead him to the spanking area, which is a private place away from the family and the circumstances of the moment.

Hold him on your lap and say, "Mama can bless an obedient child; but a disobedient child receives pain. Do not…” and then you can tell him what he did wrong. For example, “Do no run away when I call you to come.”

Put him over your knee and spank (firmly) once.

Then hug and kiss and bless. You might say something like, "When you do not come to me, you will always receive this spank. Come to me when I call you. Obedience brings blessing; disobedience brings pain."

You can then pray, "Lord, help (child's name) to grow in obedience" and add, "I love you, Darlin’, and I want you to learn to hear and cheerfully obey your Mama's voice."

ADDRESS YOUR CHILD’S MIND

As the child matures, you can ask him to repeat that phrase: “Obedience brings blessing; disobedience brings pain.” That phrase trains his intellect/mind, which is a part of his soul.

Once he's done being loved by you and loving you back, you can ask him to pray, if he’s able, for forgiveness by repeating after you, "Father God, I'm sorry I disobeyed my Mama. Forgive me. Help me to do what is right." Let the Lord lead you about how to minister to your maturing child. Learn to walk hand in Hand with God through this process.

Reinforcing this “rule”—disobedience brings pain; obedience brings blessing—in your young children’s lives sets the stage for applying their understanding of this principle to real life. We moms can use our family reading times to reach into our children’s hearts to determine if they are developing an understanding of this principle as we strengthen this truth in their hearts and minds through questioning them.

NO NEED FOR ANGER

If you notice, because you have set up a rule—come and be blessed or don’t come and receive pain—you as the Mom do not need to become angry because the "law"/rule is clear: If you do not come, you receive pain—not anger—and instruction in righteousness.

A spank administered in love (not anger) immediately after the offense has taken place and for the benefit of the child (not because the parent is annoyed) will set the stage for the rest of the child's life about understanding that the consequence of disobedience is pain!

Only spank for willful disobedience—when the child knows the rule and defiantly disobeys it. If that kind of defiance is nipped in the bud, willful disobedience disappears in the life of the child and mom can begin to address the heart. Your parenting then transitions from rules to Standards of Conduct.

CAUTION ABOUT SPANKING

My heart is heavy as I share these thoughts because the tool of spanking in the hands of an angry parent can be abused, and so I pray His Spirit ministers to each of you about the gravity of child training using this tool. Let love rule your own hearts as you minister to your children's hearts.

It should be a serious time with your child—not a flippant time—and a time to correct disobedience. When training, much love needs to take place before, during, and after the spanking; and mom's heart needs to be engaged with the Lord and her child during these times. Child training requires a lot of time!

Spanking should be used carefully and infrequently, not often and liberally. If used as a careful and infrequent tool only for disobedience, it should do its work efficiently when applied in love and with instruction.

One mom and I discussed her son’s anger while being trained. Read more of that conversation here.

Thank You that You are slow to anger!
Teach us by Your Spirit to use anger as a parenting tool
to identify things that need changing
but not as a tool for discipline.

But before faith came,
we were kept in custody under the law
being shut up to the faith which was later to be revealed.

Therefore the Law has become our tutor
to lead us to Christ.
~Galatians 3:23-24

Four-Part Series
Mom’s Growth While Raising Children
Links and Navigation Help

  1. Parenting Young Children
    My Child ~ His Child

  2. Discipling Reasoning Children
    Follow the Crowd? ~ Follow the Lord!

  3. Releasing Steadfast Children
    Stewarding My Child ~ Releasing His Child

  4. Celebrating Established People of God
    My Child Established ~ His Child Established



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