Christian Parenting Series
Part 1, Parenting Young Children |
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LET
HIM
CHANGE
YOU ~
LET
HIM
CHANGE
THEM
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Becoming a mom for the first time is such an exhilarating experience! If you’ve been blessed with more than one child (or even if you only have one), watching those children grow sparks all sorts of feelings within.
You want to be the best mom ever! And so the search begins. Through your parenting, you look for ways to stimulate your children’s whole-person growth, and there are many
books and articles, magazine and internet sites to speed you along your way.
This article does not focus on the many available ways to raise a happy, healthy child. Instead, it will focus on how you, Mom, can use the ups and downs of this season of parenting young children to root yourself into Christ, your Head—your Source for real Life—as you dwell in the reality of your relationships and circumstances and rejoice!
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…MY
CHILDREN
Children do not always fulfill our dreams.
In fact, they rarely do!
Their sin natures don’t seem to respond to our parental hopes for them.
Those bundles of joy can turn into monsters at times—kicking as we change a soiled diaper, running from us as we try to wipe their noses, screaming at the top of their lungs for attention while a meal is being served. I’m sure you can think of other examples.
In addition, we moms often don’t know how to respond to these sin-nature outbursts, so we turn to the “experts”—those who have written much on raising children—and try to follow their guidance.
While it’s wonderful to have so many resources available, their contradictory approaches can often overwhelm us.
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Evaluate
Do you ever have these or similar thoughts (as outlined in the box to your right) because your children don’t meet your ideals, your image, of how they should behave?
Are you comparing yourself to others?
Do you feel helpless and hopeless?
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As we look at other parents whose children seem to be so unlike ours, we begin to think:
- Why is Susie Q reading at the age of four and my child is barely able to speak clearly?
- Why is Tommy T so polite when my child is constantly grabbing for toys?
- Why does Angel Cakes never raise a ruckus in public when I can’t even take my child out of the house for fear she’ll knock over the mayonnaise display at the grocery store?
~ If only my son would do what I want him to do.
~ If only he were like Freddie, who is so….
Or perhaps we think these thoughts:
- My daughter is always so quiet when other children are so noisy
[yet she has no patience with anyone].
- My son is so skilled at art; he’ll be the next Raphael
[yet he is overly self-critical].
- My daughter has read so early; I know she’s a genius
[yet she is prideful about her successes].
~ If only my daughter would do what I want her to do..
~ If only she were like Sally, who is so…..
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…MY
HUSBAND
Husbands do not always fulfill our dreams.
Perhaps you wish that your husband would be more involved in the raising of your children or perhaps he’s critical of your parenting style.
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Evaluate
Do you ever have these or similar thoughts (as outlined in the box to your right) because your husband doesn’t meet your ideals, your image, of how he should behave?
Are you comparing him to others?
Do you feel helpless and hopeless?
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So you begin to compare him to other fathers and husbands.
- If only he would do devotions with my children, would follow God more closely…
- If only he would take them more places, stop watching so much TV…
- If only he would parent them with more love and stop being so angry with them when they’re just being children.
- If only my husband helped more, if he listened more, if he loved me more…
~ If only my husband would do what I want him to do.
~ If only he were like Henry, who is so…
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…MYSELF
We moms do not always fulfill of our dreams for ourselves.
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Evaluate
Do you ever have these or similar thoughts (as outlined in the box to your right) because you yourself don’t meet your ideals, your image, of how you think you should beahve?
Are you comparing yourself to others?
Do you feel helpless and hopeless?
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We then begin to become self-critical:
- If only I were a better parent and knew how to stop Susie and Tommy from these petty fights…
- If only I had more time to read the Bible, to pray, to study, to…
- If only I were more spiritual, more loving, more grace filled, more…
- If only I could get a meal on the table, keep my house clean, get the clothes washed.
~ If only I could do what I really want to do.
~ If only I were like Ethel, who is so…
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FRUIT
OF
UNREALISTIC
IDEALISM
I’m simply overwhelmed.
Help me, Lord!
Something needs to change!
Yes, you’re right.
Something does need to change.
It’s time to examine your ideals.
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…MYSELF
Renew your mind about the purpose of your reality.
Learn to rejoice in it and be changed through it.
How? How can you be changed in this overwhelming season of young children?
DWELL IN THE REALITY
OF YOUR RELATIONSHIPS AND CIRCUMSTANCES.
How?
LET CHRIST DWELL IN YOUR HEART THROUGH FAITH
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This book offers practical, Biblical counsel to help you dwell in your reality and rejoice!
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Turn from self-criticism to self-examination.
Let your life be a prayer to Him, moment by moment—when you’re nursing your infant, when you’re washing the dishes, when you’re folding the clothes, when you’re parenting siblings through an issue—asking Him to reveal to you where He wants you to change. By faith, obey one small step at a time.
Ask Him, Where, Lord, am I contributing by my own selfish ways to the problems we are experiencing in our hearts and home?
Change me.
- Don’t compare yourself to anyone else.
- Accept who you currently are.
- Believe with hope that He will transform you into all you can become in Christ.
He loves you!
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…MY
HUSBAND
DWELL WITH YOUR HUSBAND IN UNITY
Turn from images to validating.
Turn from expecting your husband to walk in the images that are so widely offered to validating your husband’s contributions to your home life. Focus on where you have unity rather than where you do not. Even some unequally yoked marriages can experience unity.
Examine your own heart to see if what you expect from your husband is what God truly expects. Turn from images that bind to real Life and Love that frees.
- Don’t compare your husband to anyone else.
- Accept who he currently is.
- Believe with hope that He will transform your husband
into all he can become in Christ.
He loves your husband!
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…MY
CHILDREN
LOVE YOUR CHILDREN AS GOD LOVES YOU
Turn from your expectations of them to God’s unique plan for them.
Images abound in the area of raising children.
Don’t expect them to fit a mold;
let the Lord mold them through your willing heart.
- Don’t compare your children to anyone else.
- Accept who each one currently is.
- Believe with hope that He will transform your children
into all they can become in Christ.
He loves your children!
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If you use this Season of Young Children wisely—developing your relationship with the Lord and dwelling in the reality of your relationships and circumstances at home—you will be setting your feet upon the Foundational Rock who is Christ.
Cast down the imaginations
that keep you from Life in Christ and dwell in Him.
Let Him be the Head and Source of your life,
for He is the fountain of wisdom.
For I have learned to be content
in whatever circumstances I am.
~ Philippians 4:11
Other articles in this Parenting Young Children series:
Top of this page; Table of Contents
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