The Greatest Years Of Marriage
by Diane
(Canada)
I would have to say the hardest years in my married life have been the last six. The hardest ~ and yet ~ the GREATEST! You see, I had images. Images of what a Christian husband should be. You know, the spiritual leader, the strong one, the church leader, the one who always knew what God's will was for his family.
I also had frustrations. Frustrations of who he was, what he wasn't, what he should be, what he had no desire to be.
After about 23 years of marriage, things began unraveling. Everything that I thought was important was being challenged. Mainly by my husband who wasn't fitting into my image of what he was supposed to be!
As I began to see that our relationship was not where I really desired it to be and that it was heading down a very dismal road, I LET GO. I let go of my images. Rather, I died to them, and it was hard. I had to let go of many things that I held dear, that I thought were so important, that I was taught was important.
It was only then that my husband began to be able to breathe. We began to talk, really talk. Hear each other, respect each other.
God began a work during these last 6 years that still continues. As images are dismantled, love and respect is growing. My Father has been placing within me the eyes to see who my husband really is. Oh, sure he has faults. But I don't focus on them. Affirmation is the focus. Affirmation in the little things that I always thought were not important but which I see are highly important.
Those spiritual areas that used to cause me concern, no longer do. He is on a journey, just as I am. The good work that He has begun in my husband and myself will be carried on to completion by the Holy Spirit.
And the best thing? We've become friends. Friends who really have a great time together. We are relaxed with each other, accepting of each other. That makes these last 6 years the GREATEST years of our lives!
